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Why Don’t People Like Me? (8 Perfect Ways To Shoo Away This Sinking Feeling And Make You More Likable!)

why don't people like me

Let’s consider a hypothetical situation:

You come back home from college/university/work, with a weary body and hopeless eyes, you let yourself loose on your armchair and think: “Why don’t people like me? Where am I going wrong? Am I really not likable?” You close your eyes and keep pressing down into the armchair, with a hundred ifs and whys running across your mind.

If you can relate to the above situation, first of all, RELAX! You’re not experiencing something strange or uncommon. Truth be told, every person in his or her life has experienced this way at some point. This is completely normal. However, what’s not normal is to ignore these feelings and give yourself fake reassurance, only to get caught into a vicious cycle of feeling unworthy and unlikable!

In other words, if you often find yourself doubting your worth or relationship with others, it’s best to probe into your own behaviors and find out WHAT’S EXACTLY causing people to dislike you! Continue Reading to find out more.

8 Reasons “Why People Don’t Like Me”

Trust me on this: having friends you can look up to in difficult times is extremely important, and this only happens when people actually like you! With that said, here is a list of 8 reasons why people may dislike you and 8 corresponding tips to reverse it:

1. You speak, but you don’t listen!

girl not listening her dad

Ok, don’t get me wrong on this one, but one of the quickest ways to turn people off is to act full of yourself around them.

And what do I mean by “acting full of yourself”? Well, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you keep praising yourself or keep bragging about your life in front of them. Some people hardly brag about themselves, but what they do wrong is they DON’T INDULGE IN TWO-WAY CONVERSATIONS. They always want to take the lead and keep talking about what’s happening in THEIR lives, THEIR problems, and THEIR circumstances. Conversations are meant to be mutual, and people will only enjoy conversing with you if you give them a chance to speak rather than just talking and talking and talking! Errrr…I’m feeling irritated only by the thought of it, so imagine how much people would dislike such behavior in real life!

HOW TO CHANGE IT:

Know that communication is KEY TO MAKING SOMEONE LIKE YOU, and if you don’t make the other person feel heard, they’ll never like you. Learn the art of carrying healthy dialogue, and you’ll see things changing for the better.

2. You are Unkind without Realizing It

Many people confuse being ROUGH with being straightforward. If you’re one of them, then I have bad news for you. While you may believe that people should be able to “digest things as they are,” some people are simply more sensitive to what you say than how you’d expect them to be. In fact, when you’re trying to be straightforward, you might even bully someone without realizing it. And that’s where things go wrong. Trust me; nobody actually likes savage/bully people no matter what!

HOW TO CHANGE IT:

Be mindful of how you structure your words. For example, you have a coworker who’s irresponsible and lazy, and you want to make him realize it. So instead of telling him, “You’re irresponsible and lazy.” Tell him, “You’re great at what you do, but learning how to manage time willmake you even better! I’m confident that you want to improve and prove your potential!” Do you see what I did there?? Simply restructuring words to have a positive effect goes a long way!

3. You Try to be Fake to Get Attention

girl faking herself

Ok, I’m not judging you, but some people really start acting fake in an attempt to gain validation of those around them. For example, you go on a date with a pure vegetarian, and you yourself are a beef lover (you didn’t know the other person’s views about vegetarianism until you sat in a restaurant with him). Your potential partner says, “I don’t understand how people can even be so barbaric as to even be comfortable with the idea of being a non-vegetarian.” URGHHH, TROUBLE! TROUBLE! The guy is really handsome, and in an attempt to impress him, you start acting fake and support what he said, even being a non-vegetarian yourself. The plot twist? He already knew you’re a non-vegetarian and was only trying to test your reaction to his stance. He now thinks you’re a fake person and a compulsive liar!

HOW TO CHANGE IT:

Be true to yourself and your beliefs no matter how difficult it gets. Never lie and be fake in an attempt to gain validation from others; it’ll only backfire! It’ll only make you question your worth and think, “Why don’t people like me?”

4. You Gossip a Lot!

Ok ladies, this is for you! While a man can be a gossip-lover too, women are generally more prone towards gossiping than men, and we can’t deny it! So if you’re a person who loves gossip, chances are you’re killing your repute with your own hands! Trust me, people would actually JOIN your gossip sessions willingly and add more spice and drama to it, but they’d talk bad about you behind your back! “If he can gossip to me about others, he can do the same about me with others!” this is what people think when you turn to them for gossip and drama. They don’t actually like you as a person and think of you as a negative, bad person! And then you wonder, “Why don’t people like me,” now you know!

HOW TO CHANGE IT:

The answer is simple: DON’T GOSSIP! It only spreads bad vibes around and kills your potential of forming trustable relations with people. Stay quiet even if you don’t like somebody, rather than mentioning their flaws to somebody else.

5. You Don’t Pay Attention to Personal Hygiene

Imagine getting across someone who’s very kind, smart, and intelligent but also smells bad, wears dirty clothes, and looks unattractive! Would you want to be around such a person? Obviously no! So if you wonder, “Why don’t people like me?” you should also wonder if you’re physically unattractive to them! And I’m not talking about your looks here; I’m talking about how much you invest in personal hygiene and grooming! Don’t forget: the very first interaction between you and another person IS BASED ON THEIR VISUAL EVALUATION OF YOU! So if you fail to be visually groomed, people won’t like you no matter how good of a person you’re intrinsically.

HOW TO CHANGE IT:

Invest in yourself. Buy good clothes, wear a little makeup to enhance your looks, smell good, be presentable and attractive! I hope you’ll soon stop wondering, “Why don’t people like me.”

6. You’re Always Seeking “Free Stuff”

This is becoming a growing trend among friends to expect them to pay for your food when going out! Hear me out: IT ISN’T A NORMAL FRIENDSHIP THING; IN FACT, IT’S EXTREMELY IRRITATING AND UNETHICAL! Nobody would ever want to hang out with someone who is never ready to pay for his stuff, let alone be courteous enough to offer to pay for others’. If your friends have started to exclude you from hangouts, it’s about time you realize that friendships are not meant to be selfish, and there’s always the rule of “give and take” playing behind all successful friendships.

HOW TO CHANGE IT:

If you’ve always been that friend that’s expecting others to pay for his stuff, CHANGE NOW! The next time you go out with friends, pay for your stuff before they even ask you to, and also offer to pay for others’ as a gesture of goodwill and your past shortcomings. Hopefully, you’ll not find yourself wondering, “why don’t people like me” real soon.

7. You’re Careless About Commitments

Imagine you’re having a meeting with a coworker to discuss work problems; you both decided to meet at a certain place at a certain time. Your coworker has reached on time, as per the commitment, and he’s continuously calling you because you haven’t shown up at the set time. You receive the call and say, “Oh, just 10 more minutes, I’ve just gotten out of the shower and will be there in 10”. You know you won’t be able to make it there in 10 minutes, your coworker knows the same, and another thing that both of you know is YOU’RE CARELESS! The fact that you don’t care about others’ time could be the biggest turn-off for people around you.

HOW TO CHANGE IT:

If you’re still wondering, “Why don’t people like me” stop wondering and start being responsible towards your commitments.


Also Read: Want To Know How To Tell A Guy You Like Him? 10 Powerful Tips!

8. You’re Moody

moody girl

If you treat people based on how you’re feeling on a particular day, you’re a completely unreliable person, and others won’t look up to you in times of need. We’re adults, and all we look for is stability. So, if you turn down people simply because you’re having a bad day, don’t feel offended when they do the same to you and act victim by asking, “Why don’t people like me.”

HOW TO CHANGE IT:

Treat people with love, kindness, and respect regardless of how you’re feeling and what kind of a day you’re having. There’s no justification for being toxic UNREASONABLY.

Final Word

Humans are imperfect, and so are you! But you can improve a lot by taking responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and behaviors! The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll stop wondering about “Why don’t people like me?” and start wondering, “Have people started to like me a lot more than before?”

Written by Amna Ashgar

Amna Asghar is a young, 25 years old girl with an inherent passion for crafting words in a creative and aesthetic sense. She has completed her bachelors in Computer Sciences and is fond of writing creative, and engaging content.

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